May 29, 2020 – Day 34

My motivation has been in such wacked up stance. Today, the officer that killed George Floyd, was arrested. Supposedly the riots in Minneapolis are being infiltrated by undercover cops to make the protests look dangerous. Trump has given the coast guard permission to shoot protesters once the “looting starts”. It’s all very frustrating.

I’m working on a new project. Won’t go into details just yet. I haven’t been motivated enough to clear up the blackberries. I’m starting to take my meds again though.

I’m going to apply for ACC as well. Hopefully I’ll have a better school year than high school

May 19, 2020 – Day 24

It was too hot today to prune the blackberries. Dad did, however, cut the netting. I worked on curiosity some more though.

I made the beak! It took a while. I used styrofoam and sanded it down to shape. Then I surrounded it with air dry clay before painting it.

This Saturday I’m going to be graduating. Due to the Coronavirus there’s this special way of doing it right now. Apparently it’s going to be an outside thing were we wait in the car for our names to be called to walk the stage. Sissy wants me to wait for her when my name is called so we can walk together. There’s also going to be a parade that she wants me to be a part of too. Though we’ve agreed that I’ll just be sitting in the back on my phone. She’s super excited and I’m worried I won’t be able to handle it. I’ve started taking my meds in preparation for it. Hopefully it’ll be enough.

As far as journals go, I know I haven’t really stated my opinions on current events and how it’s affecting me. To be honest, thinking about COVID really depresses me. The vocal minority in this country has made perpetuated the American entitled stereotype. Our government has valued the economy over the lives of its citizens. Jeff Bezos is an ass. Meanwhile, I try to keep myself busy from my thoughts of hopelessness by doing arts and crafts projects.

After I graduate I plan on attending ACC. That was always the plan before this whole pandemic. I didn’t get my license, however, so I can’t drive there. I really hope I’ll be able to attend classes physically as I can’t stand videos.

Godhood Has Come With Its Drawbacks

Idea: Jacob, a 21 year old college student, has their life turned upside down when a stranger shows up to kill him. Turns out, he’s a new god! The God of Destruction, Death, and Decay to be exact. Having realized this guy has no idea what he’s talking about, Ian, a Godkiller, now sees this once in a lifetime experience of shaping a god to their own perspective. Others, however, see things differently and they now have a battalion of Godkillers out there dead set on killing the supposed God of “everything bad”. Hijinks ensue.

I would like to preface this by saying that I hate names with a passion. So you’ll probably start to see a pattern of only seeing the most generic names possible for everyone. Either that or a random assortment of syllables I came up with to sound fancy. This rule, as you’ve probably noticed extends to titles whereby I try to have them explain their story in the title. Or in the case of Error 500, I thought the name of too many windows open on your computer causing it to crash was a good shorthand for the story.

(Above) Our main characters, (Below) some Godkillers

If you can’t tell, the Godkillers all wear masks over their faces. Some like the aesthetically appeal, others go for more functional. Either way their face can’t be seen. I think it was something to do with Godkiller culture, but I can’t remember. What I can remember is that all Godkillers have special weapons ordain with some magical hoo-hah that allows them to kill a god dead. Ian’s a Mace.

The story would revolve around Jacob coming into his newfound powers and the slow, but dawning, realization that being the God of Death, Destruction, and Decay doesn’t only have it physical ramifications, but intangible ones too. The death of his many friendships. Destruction of his family. And decay of his self worth. Being a “good” god isn’t as simple as not doing bad things. Fated to always hurt the ones closest to him, Jacob becomes unsure of himself. In the end, self-isolation doesn’t solve anything, the falling out of the relationships with his friends was bound to happen, and his family loves him no matter what.

May 18th, 2020 – Day 23

Long story short as to why I haven’t been updating is that this is the first non-blah day I’ve had in weeks. I have been keeping myself busy, though:

Iv’e taken up needle felting. A form of sewing wherein which you stab the wool into submission.

On the left is the image of my progress in the felt puppet. On the right is what I’m basing it on. The right pictures are of a character I made a couple years ago and made a paper puppet for. There name is Curiosity and the hold a special place in my heart.

In terms of my video game courses. I’ve completed the C# coding lesson on the first one, but I felt my focus slipping and decided to begin the Blender course. I didn’t get very far before I sunk into the blah feeling. Hoping to continue it soon.

I also came back to an older project I had. I making a Writing Journal for it in a little bit. I am lovingly calling it “Godhood Comes With Its Drawbacks”.

The plants are alright. Super healthy and such. Maybe a little too healthy. The blackberries have become completely overgrown in my absence to a cartoonishly absurd degree. The primo canes grew so tall, they’re now slouching over the rest of the plant. I’ll be dealing with this matter tomorrow. With pictures.